Self-Management
Protect Your Margins
In the chaos of early adulthood, a friend's wise word—protect your margins—became my secret to finding peace amidst the overwhelm.
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Protect Your Margins
Early in adulthood, I received some advice that has stuck with me and served me well for years. Back then, I was juggling being a full-time college student, a full-time employee, and a brand new husband – feeling overwhelmed was an understatement.
During a conversation with a friend who was a few years my senior, I poured out my feelings of being stretched too thin by all the expectations placed on me. My friend was also working, in school, and married, but he didn’t seem to be as stressed out as I was, and I wanted to know his secret.
“It’s easy,” he said. “I’m just not willing to write in my margins.”
At first, I was puzzled, but he went on to explain: “Think of your life as a sheet of paper, and every commitment you make is like writing on that page. If you only fill half of the page, adding something by new is no big deal. You don’t have to stress, because you have room for anything new that comes up.”
“But if you fill the entire page edge to edge,” he continued, “you carry the weight and stress of knowing that you’re in a fragile spot. Life always throws new things your way, so determine how much margin you need on your paper, and then refuse to voluntarily write in your margins.”
“If something unexpected forces you to, that’s okay – but find a way to adjust so that it all fits within your margins again as quickly as you can.”
We continued talking for an hour or so over coffee, catching up on life. As we parted ways with a hug, he left me with this thought: “Protect your margins. Your peace lives there.”
Whenever I find myself on the brink of feeling overwhelmed, his words resound in my mind. When stress becomes a constant companion, I realize it’s time to reassess my margins and protect them more diligently.
Protecting my margins often requires making tough choices. Sometimes, I have to say no to good opportunities because I refuse to compromise my peace by overcrowding my schedule. However, when I manage this well, every aspect of my life thrives, as the commitments I’ve made receive my full attention without the fear and stress of over-committing.
With the new year, you may be thinking about how to adjust your life. This may be the year you work out more, the year you focus on your career, the year you create more art, or the year you put your family first.
No matter what changes you are making—or if you aren’t changing anything because you’re in survival mode—here’s my advice to you: Protect your margins. Your peace lives there.
